The world according to Sarah
by amanda1979
Summary: Sarah meets the Winchesters while visiting her mothers friend Bobby in the hospital and despite being raised as a hunter nothing could have prepared what what lies ahead. Based on season 5
1. Chapter 1

"Are you sure you're OK Bobby" I asked again for what felt like the thousandth time.

"I'm fine" I could tell he was losing patience at been asked but I couldn't stand to see him like this

"and there's nothing I can do for you?"

"You know me" was his response

Two guys entered the hospital room

"Hey there Bobby" the shorter guy said while grinning at me."'I'm Dean" he told me.

"This is Sarah" Bobby told him " Her mother was a friend of mine, that's Sam" he nodded towards the dark haired guy"

"Hey" I said

"It's always nice to meet friends of Bobby especially the pretty ones" Dean said

Sam shook his head.

"What?" Dean asked

"Does that line really work" I tried to sound unimpressed. There was no way I was going to let myself fall for a cheap line like that even if he was cute.

"I've never had any complaints" he said as he winked at me

"First time for everything I guess" I told him

Sam laughed as his cellphone rang. He went outside the room to answer and when he came back the was a guy wearing a trench coat with him. I figured it had to be Castiel.

"This is..."Dean began

"Castiel I know Bobby told me about you"

"This is Sarah" Dean told him "a friend of Bobby's"

"Nice to meet you" I held out my hand and he shook it. I guess I expected it to feel different in some way to shake hands with an actual angel but I was surprised to find it was just like shaking hands with anyone else.

"Enough foreplay" Bobby snapped "Get over here and lay your damn hands on. Get healing now"

"I can't"

"Say again"

"I'm cut off from heaven and much of heavens power, certain things I can do and certain things I can't"

"You're telling me you lost your mojo just in time to get me stuck in this trap for the rest of my life"

"Bobby.." I began unsure of what I could say but I felt bad for Castiel. I've never liked to see someone been yelled at.

"I'm Sorry" Castiel told him

"Shove it up your ass"

Castiel turned to Dean "We need to talk, your plan to kill Lucifer"

"Yeah, do you want to help?" Dean asked hopefully

"No, it's foolish. It can't be done" Castiel told him

"Thanks for the support"

"But I have the solution. There is someone else besides Michael strong enough to take on Lucifer. Strong enough to stop the apocalypse"

"Who's that?" Sam asked

"The one who resurrected me and put you on that air plane. The one who began everything. God, I'm going to find God"

Suddenly three pairs of eyes were all on me "Hmm this all probably sounds like nine kinds of crazy to you doesn't it?" Dean asked as he Sam and Castiel remembered I was in the room.

"Not so much"

"You're a hunter" Sam realised

"Since I was 15. Demons I'm used to, Angels and God is all a bit new to me but it makes sense I guess"

OK" Dean looked stunned for a second then he turned backed to Castiel "What do you need?"

"An amulet"

"An amulet?" Bobby asked "What kind?"

"Very rare, very powerful. It burns hot in God's presence"

"Like a God EMF?" Sam asked

"Well I've got nothing like that" Bobby told him

"I know you don't" Castiel told him as he looked pointedly at Dean

Dean looked confused then he looked down "What? This?"

"May I borrow it?" Castiel asked him

"No!"

"Dean" I cut in "I'm sure he'll give it back right?"

"Exactly" Castiel agreed

Dean took off the amulet and reluctantly handed it over to Castiel

"Great now I feel naked"

"I'll be in touch" Castiel said right before he vanished.

"When you find God tell him to send legs!" Bobby yelled after him

Bobby answered a call on his mobile "What? I can't hear you" he said "Where are you?"

Something told me this was important so I stood and waited until he finished the call.

"So how do you three feel taking about a trip to Colorado?" he asked


	2. Chapter 2

Dean drove us as far as the bridge leading into town then we had to get out and walk the rest of the way. as it was a broken.

Sam tried unsuccessfully to get a signal on his cellphone.

"What is that god awful song?" I asked as music blared out of an abandoned car.

Sam reached inside and turned it off as we passed by.

Someone was behind us and I could tell they had a gun, the three of us spun round at the same time.

Ellen" Sam said

The name rang a bell with me

"Hello boys, who's this?" she eyed me suspiciously

"Sarah" Sam spoke up for me "she's a hunter"

Ellen responded by throwing holy water on the three us. You'd be surprised how many times that happens to me in this line of work. Normal people say hi and shake hands to introduce each other, but I get holy water in my face and then every so often I'll maybe get an handshake but just as an after thought.

"We're us" Dean said

Ellen lowered the gun and led us to a building.

"Real good to see you boys" she told Sam and Dean

She hugged Dean and then slapped him

"Ow!" he whined

"What? You can't pick up a phone? Are you allergic to giving me piece of mind? You'd better put me on speed dial kid" she snapped

"Yes ma'am" Dean responded

We followed Ellen down the stairs

"How many demons?" I asked wanting to know what we were up against.

"Pretty much the whole town minus the dead people and these guys" she told me as she knocked on the door.

"So this is it, right? End of times? It's gotta to be"

"Seems like it" Sam told her

I kept my mouth shut. Bobby had told me in confidence a little about what had led up to Lucifer been sent free but it wasn't my place to tell Ellen

Someone let us into the room

"This is Sam, Dean and Sarah" Ellen said "they're hunters, here to help"

"Are you guys hip to the whole demon thing?" the guy who had opened the door asked us

"Pretty much" I told him "you?"

"My wife's eyes turned black and she came at me with a brick" a guy wearing a suit told me "that kind of makes you embrace the paranormal"

"Sarah you OK?" Sam asked

I realised I must have been caught up in my thoughts "Yeah fine" I told him "So Ellen fill us in"

"I doubt I know much more than you three" she said "Rufus called, said he was investigating omens in town. All of a sudden the whole town was possessed" she said as she continued to stare at me. "Sarah you look mighty familiar"

"My mother was a hunter, I look a lot like her, you probably knew each other"

"What was her name?"

"Elizabeth but everyone called her Lizzie"

"You're Lizzie O'Sullivans kid?"

"Yeah"

"Sure I knew Lizzie, Great hunter. It was awful what happened to her"

"Yeah thanks" I said awkwardly 

Luckily Dean came to my rescue "OK so what happened once you got into town?" he asked

We got here and the place, well the place was like you see it. We couldn't find Rufus then me and Jo got separated..."

"You're hunting with Jo?" he asked

"Yeah for a while now. I was out looking for her when I found you"

"OK well we'll find her" I reassured Ellen "but first we have to get these people out of here"

"It's not that easy, I've been trying" Ellen said "we already made a run for it once"

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"There used to be twenty of us"

I did a quick head count of around ten civilians.

"Well there's four of us now" Dean said.

"You don't know what it's like out there, demons are everywhere" Ellen argued "we won't be able to cover everybody"

"We could arm them" I suggested

"What are you going to do? Arm up baby bump over there?" Dean nodded towards the pregnant woman

"Sarah's got a point" Sam said "the more salt rounds we can fire off the more demons we can keep away"

"There's a sporting store that we passed on the way in. I bet they've got guns" Dean suggested

"Stay here" I said to Ellen "We'll go"

"What about.." Ellen began

"If Jo and Rufus are out there we'll bring them back" Sam promised.

Once we were outside Dean grabbed Sam's arm and said "Hang on Sarah and I will go"

"What? without me?" Sam asked in disbelief.

"Guys" I tried to intervene "We need to get guns and salt not to mention find Jo and Rufus. It'll go faster of we all go"

"No offence but you don't know the full story here" Dean told me

"You're right I don't the full story but I know enough and yet I'm still here helping you guys because there's more important things at stake here. It's the apocalypse, so that's slightly more important than laying the blame on Sam for something that he can't change. What's done is done but you know what we can do? We can fight whatever comes at us and deal with everything else later" I finally stopped for a breath

"All right" Dean looked a little surprised at my outburst "no need to have a cow"


	3. Chapter 3

Sam headed towards the Quick mart while Dean and I headed for the sporting goods store. I had to practically drag Dean along with me as he watched Sam cross the Street.

"He's a big boy Dean" I told him "I'll sure he'll be ok across he street on his own

"Yeah how much do you know?" he asked as we entered the store .

"About Sam freeing Lucifer or in general" I tried to joke

"Bobby told you/?" he sounded surprised

"Yeah, not everything but the gist of it. Sam has demon blood in him and he got tricked by a demon into opening the final seal. The way I hear it he thought he was stopping it"

"Yeah" Dean said "doesn't change anything tho does it? He still chose a demon over me"

"Dean.."

"I know stopping this is more important right now but I don't think I can trust him right now and if I can't trust him how are we supposed to work together?"

"What are you saying Dean?"

"I don't know" he admitted "just thinking out loud I guess. What's your story anyway?

"What do you mean?" I played dumb

"I saw your reaction when Ellen was talking about your mother. What happened to her?"

"I killed her" I said bluntly

"I'm guessing she wasn't herself when you killed her?" he asked

"She was possessed" I told him "She came at me with an axe, there wasn't exactly time to perform an exorcism. We were 12 stories up and she got close I ducked, spun round and pushed her out of the window. If was a move she taught me actually. She'd have been proud if it weren't for the fact I'd just used it on her of course" I said bitterly

"She wasn't your mum" Dean reasoned

"That's the worst part" I said "The thing I pushed out of the window was the demon but as I watched her fall I saw the demon leave her body. It was my mum who hit the ground and the last things she saw was her killer, me"

Dean put his arm round me "That must have been awful" he stated the obvious

"Yeah but like I said more important things right now" I moved away and began picking out weapons in the way normal women my age would pick out clothes on a Saturday morning shopping trip

"the truth is" I told Dean "There's never time to deal with this stuff later, because there's always something more important that needs to be stopped"

"And I thought I was cynical" I heard him say as I loaded a shotgun.


	4. Chapter 4

We met up with Sam and made our way back to the basement.

I started showing some of the people how to use the guns but couldn't help over hearing Dean's conversation.

""Where did you serve?" the guy asked him

"Hell" Dean responded

"No seriously"

"Seriously, hell"Dean repeated himself before he came walked over to me

""How's it going?" he asked

"I spent two years learning this stuff before my mum would even let me have my own gun and now I've got to teach it to a bunch of scared civilians in less than an hour, so not good" I told him

"Fair point"

I left the gun with the guy I had been showing it to and walked across the room with Dean "It's true then, you really went to hell?"

"Yeah"

"Sorry to ask silly questions but what's it like"

"Like hell" he told me

"That bad? Huh?"

"Why do you want to know?" he asked sensing it was important to me

"Just wondered I mean I'm probably... never mind"

"You think you're going there?" he guessed "for what happened with your mum"

"Maybe"

"Hey you did what you had to" he told me "and if you hadn't you wouldn't be here now"

"Yeah thanks" I told him before I walked back across the room.

A few minutes later I could hear Ellen kicking up a fuss. It was understandable, she wanted to find her daughter. Sam volunteered to go with her and Dean practically dragged him away to have a word with him

"What;s with those two?" the guy I stood next to asked me

"Family stuff" I told him

A while later Sam left with Ellen and I did my best to keep Dean busy by giving the civilians weapon training I could tell he was distracted.

When Ellen returned without Sam I knew it had to be something awful. I was almost relieved when she didn't mention anything about him been dead. If he was dead I was sure she would have said so. That meant there was a chance he was still alive at least.

The civilians were starting to panic though so I had to push any thoughts about Sam to the back of my mind. I guessed it must be harder for Dean since it was his brother.

He wanted to go straight out to find Sam but at least he had the common sense to try and get the full story from Ellen before running off into god knows what.

It turned out Ellen and Sam had run into Rufus and Jo who appeared to be possessed but what Ellen was saying wasn't making sense to me. She told us that her daughter always wears an anti possession charm. Although I supposed it was possible she could have lost it just like my mother had right before...

I snapped myself back to the present it was no use dwelling on the past when we had bigger and more immediate problems.

"You said Jo called you a black eyed bitch" Dean was saying ""They think we're demons and we think they're demons. What if they are no demons and we're all just killing each other"

"Wait, back up. It's the apocalypse?" the priest asked

"Sorry padre" Dean told him

I was never bought up as a normal girl. My mum made sure I did my target practise before my homework. Each time we moved to a new house the first thing we did before we even unpacked was plan an escape path just in case. Every time I bought a friend home dinner involved bringing out the silver cutlery (to make sure they're weren't a shape shifter) and giving them a glass of holy water with their dinner. When I was 15 my mum let me come hunting with her for the first time and on my 16th birthday when most girls were planning a big party I was killing a werewolf. So I'd say weird is pretty normal to me. So when Dean suggested that the horseman war was behind all the demon or fake demon possessions even I thought it was a little weird so I can only imagine what the 'normal' people were thinking.

He seemed to know what he was talking about though so who was I to argue?

"So you're saying that they are no demons and that war is a guy" the younger man asked Dean.

"You believed crazy before" Dean told him.

I was about to speak when they was a loud banging at the door "Open up it's Roger!"

As soon as we let him in he began ranting "I saw them, I saw the demons they know we're trying to leave. They said they're going to pick us off one by one"

"I thought you said they were no demons" the young guy said

I stood next to Dean "I haven't known this guy for long" I said as I nodded towards Dean "but if he says there are no demons and that the horseman war is behind al this, then I'm inclined to believe him"

He gave me a small smile of appreciation but it was short lived as Roger insisted "they're going to kill us unless we kill them first"

"Calm down" I tried to get him to listen to reason but some of the others were already picking up their weapons.

Then Roger winked at me and Dean and turned the ring on his finger "They're demons" he pointed at me Dean and Ellen "look at their eyes"

"go go go" Dean demanded pushing me and Ellen out of the door as the others started firing at us.


	5. Chapter 5

We found Rufus and Jo. Getting them to accept that none of of us were demons was the easy part compared to getting everyone else to accept it.

We entered a house nearby.

"we've got to find war before everyone in this town kills... " Dean began

I let out a gasp as someone fired at us and almost hit.

"Damn it where's Sam?" Dean questioned

"Upstairs" Rufus replied

"I raced up the stairs after Dean

"Dean, Sarah it's not demons..." Sam began to say as we stormed into the room

"It's war" Dean finished for him "I just can't figure out how he's doing it

"The ring" Sam said

"He was turning it right before he made those people think we were demons" I said to Dean as we untied Sam

"We gotta move, Come on" Dean told us.

We caught up with the horseman as he headed for his car

"That's a sweet little knife" he commneted on the knife Sam was holiding "but come on, you can't kill war kiddos"

"Oh we know" Dean said as we grabbed him and held him down while Sam snatched his hand and cut of his ring finger.

Dean picked up the ring and pocketed it.

After that was over my normal reaction would have been to spilt and hit the road on my own It was more than I was used but that was the same time Sam up and left so figured I'd stick around and help, plus all the training my mother had given me along with my 20 years of weirdness didn't seem to count for a thing anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

Me and Dean worked out to be a pretty good team. After the cheap chat up line at the hospital he never hit on me again. I was glad because I liked him just not in that way.

We hunted together and I did my best to keep his mind of Sam.

I had my own motel room at night, I suppose I could have asked Dean if we could share a room but I didn't want to sound like a scared child even if I did feel like one.

The first night I came pretty close to getting up and knocking on his door as I began to convince myself that every unexplained noise was something bad. That's when Castiel showed up on the chair besides my bed.

I almost fell out of my bed "oh Cas" I tried to pretend he hadn't just scared the holy crap out of me

"Sorry did I scare you?" he asked

"What? No! Well maybe just a little" I admitted "maybe you could like knock at the door or something, appearing next to my bed isn't the best idea"

Then he was gone "Cas" I called to the empty air

Then there was a knock at the door. I got out of bed and answered it

"Is this better?" he asked standing it the hallway?"

I couldn't help but smile as I invited him in.

"So what's up?" I asked as I wrapped my robe around me

"We need to talk" he began

"About...?"

"You don't know do you?" he looked at me curiously

"huh?"

"What you are"

"OK I'll bite what am I?"

"A fallen angel"

"Come again?" I looked at him wondering if angels had a different sense of humour to everyone else and if this was some kind of joke.

"Maybe you should sit down" he told me.

I sat down on the bed and he sat down next to me.

Then he began to tell me about angels and what happens when they cut out their grace. Just when I thought his story couldn't be any weirder he told me that I'd once been an angel"

"I think I'd remember something like that" I told him

"Do you have any strange memories from when you were very young?" he asked

"You mean besides demons trying to kill me and mum?"

"Did you ever imagine you were someone else"

"I used to pretend that I didn't belong to my mum" I admitted guiltily but "that's just because I wanted to be normal as soon I accepted I would never be normal I stopped pretending and got on with my life"

"That's normal for a fallen angel to know that they don't belong to their family but as they grow up they start to forget"

"You're kidding me right? Me? A fallen angel?"

"I am not kidding you"Castiel told me "why do you find it so hard to believe that you could have been an angel"

"I'm not.." I began

"What?" He looked at and at the risk of sounding like some romantic cliché I felt like I could have gotten lost in eyes there were so full of goodness and it made me wonder why he was here even wasting his time talking to me.

"I'm not good" I said

"What makes you say that?"

"I killed my mum and everyone around me get hurts"

"None of that is your fault" he told me gently "and you are a good person, you have no idea how many people you have saved"

"I'm just trying to make up for the people I haven't saved.

"Have you ever done anything you can't explain?" he asked

"I was trapped once by a demon" I told him

he nodded so I carried on "and my mum was upstairs and another demon had her trapped I knew that we were both dead for sure but then we were both outside in the snow freezing cold in your pyjamas about 50 miles from home. We never talked about it but I've never been able to explain it"

"Fallen angels don't usually have any powers but in times of great need they have been known to be able to access a little of heavens power without realising it. With the amount of danger you've been in your entire life it makes sense your might have displayed some of that power form time to time"

"So I'm like an angel without any power most of the time?" I had a knack for over simplifying things.

He nodded.

"Get some sleep" he told me as I stifled a yawn

I didn't want him to leave. Partly because I was still a little shaky on my own in this room and partly because I just didn't want him to leave.

"Cas?"

"Yes"

"Do you have anything important to do right now?" I asked

"Not right now"

"Can you stay?" I asked "Just until I fall asleep?"

"Of course" he said as he walked over to the chair and sat down

"Thanks" I said as I turned out light and lay down in my bed

"Cas?" I asked a few minutes later

"Yes"

"When I was an angel, did we know each other?"

"No" he told me "but I wish we had"

"Me too"I told him sleepily

That was how it began with me and Cas, by the time I realised I was falling for him it was too late to stop myself.

Every night he would stay in the chair by the side of my bed until l fell asleep. Sometimes I'd be so exhausted that I was out before I could even so goodnight. Other times I hardly slept and we talked for hours as I lay awake.

I thought maybe he was lonely and just liked having someone to talk to or watch over but after a week, on one of my sleepless nights we were talking.

"Cas what's it like in heaven?" I asked

"That makes a change from you asking Dean what it's like in hell" he avoided my question

"He told you that?"

"Yes I know about this crazy notion you have that you're going to hell and I can assure you're not" he told me with certainty

"How can you be so sure?" I asked

"There's nobody like in hell, I'm sure of it"

"Is there anybody like me in heaven?" I asked

"There's nobody like you anywhere" he blurted out "but in a good way"

"Yeah I'm a freak" I told him

"I didn't mean it like that" he told me "I..."

he seemed lost for words.

"We're not so different you and I you're fallen and I'm cast out"

I opened my mouth to argue that he was a better person or angel (whatever) than I was but I saw the way he was looking at me hopefully. I found myself thinking that if he could see something good in me then maybe I couldn't be so bad"

That's I took mychance and kissed him, he didn't kiss me back at first but he didn't pull away either. Eventually he pulled her closer and kissed me back mirroring my kisses almost as if he was learning how to kiss for the first time.

I fell asleep with him lying next to me , me under the covers in my nightie and him on top of the covers fully clothed with his arm wrapped round me. There was an innocence about the whole thing that I'd never felt before.


	7. Chapter 7

I didn't see Cas for three days after that. I woke up and we was gone. I tried not to read too much into it. It was one thing to sleep with a guy and have him vanish the next day but it was different when all I did was actually sleep. I told myself he had important things to do and I realised what a girlie girl I was been when I found my self think that he could have at least called me.

When he did finally show up I didn't get a moment to speak to him alone as Dean was there. He and Cas went off to impersonate FBI agents to try and find the location of an archangel named Raphael.

I was in my house where we were squatting and I was searching for omens on the internet to keep my mind off Cas when Dean called and told me to meet them at the hospital.

When I got there the three of us found Raphael's empty vessel.

"So this is what I'm looking at if Michael jumps my bones/" Dean asked

"No not at all" Cas told him "Michael is much more powerful. It'll be far worse for you"

"What's so important about this archangel anyway?" I tried to change the subject

"Didn't Cas tell you? He got wasted by a teenage mutant ninja angel?"

"What?" I looked from Dean to Cas

"He's the one who killed me" Cas told me "but this isn't about revenge. He may know where God is"

"OK" I said, that made as much sense as anything else that I had heard recently.

"I'll meet you back at the house" Cas told us and then he was gone

"I wish he wouldn't do that" I muttered to the empty space where he'd been stood.

We hadn't been back at the house long when Cas showed up with a Jug in his hand.

"Where have you been?" I snapped as I was getting irrationally worked up over the fact that we hadn't had a chance to talk

"Jerusalem"he told ignoring my annoyance

"How was it?" Dean asked

The sarcasm went over his head too as he replied "Errid"

"What's that?" Dean asked

"Oil, it's very special and very rare"

"Great we're going to trap Raphael with a nice vinegarette" Dean quipped.

"Sarah" Cas finally seemed to remember my existence "You don't have to come along for this"

"Just try and stop me" I replied stubbornly thinking he was trying to give me the brush off

"It's dangerous"

"And it's not dangerous for you or Dean?" I crossed my arms defiantly

"Of course it is for me, I probably won't live past tonight but Raphael won't harm Michaels vessel"

"What Cas is saying is that I'm his human shield, right Cas?" Dean half joked.

"Well I'm still coming" I told him 

"Fine" Cas said in a way that told me it wasn't fine at all

"Fine" I repeated and sat down across from him.

"Wow last night on earth Cas" Dean broke the awkward silence "any plans?"

"I thought I'd sit here quietly" Cas told him.

"Come on, anything? Booze Women?"

Cas was silent so Dean continued to talk "You have been a woman before? Or an angel at least? You mean to tell me that you've never been up there doing a little cloud seeding?"

Cas avoided looking at me and he responded to Dean's question "Look, I've never had occasion okay?"

That's when Dean came up with the insane idea of taking Cas to a visit a prostitute so that he wouldn't have to die a virgin. He looked helplessly at me as Dean almost dragged him off. All I could do was follow.

We got 60 seconds alone while Dean dropped us off before parking his car.

"You're not seriously going to go thru with this?" I whispered

"I don't want to" his eyes pleaded with me

"Then don't"

"Ok I'll just tell him"

"Really?" I asked surprised that he would want to tell Dean about whatever it was between us.

What was it anyway? I asked myself we spent the night together and apart from kissing we didn't do anything? I let my doubts take over. What if it meant more to me than it did to him?

Before I had chance to say anything else Dean had joined us.

As we sat and waited Cas continued to cast me helpless looks but it wasn't until he was been led away by a prostitute that I finally did something.

"Where are you going? " Dean asked

"To stop it before it's too late?"

Dean looked at me and waited for me to explain.

"Me and Cas, we have something or a t least I hope we do but even if we don't I can't let him go ahead with this until he at least knows"

"Knows what?" Dean asked

"That I have feelings for him" I said as I ran after Cas hoping it wasn't too late.

I didn't get to him before I heard the prostitute shouting obscenities at Cas as she came running past me.

"What did you do? Dean asked

"I just looked her in the eyes and told her that it wasn't her fault her father Gene ran off. It was because he hated his job at the post office"

"Hey" I said awkwardly "I was just coming to rescue you. I told Dean that I have feelings for you so he won't make you do this again, unless that's what you want" I told him

"Thank you" he "said and no I don't want to do this again I only want what's right in front of me" he half smiled at me.

"Lets go Romeo and Juliet" Dean said and the three of us ran for the nearest exit.

Dean began laughing when we got outside

"What's so funny?" Cas asked

"Nothing, it's been a long time since I've laughed that hard"

"You knew that there was something going on with us" I accused "and you still did this"

"I was pretty sure" he admitted "I just wanted to hear you say it, You cut it a bit fine though"


	8. Chapter 8

We went back to the hospital and Cas poured the oil around the wheelchair that Raphael's vessel was sat in.

"When the oil burns no angel can touch or pass through the flames or he dies" he told us

"Okay we trap him in steel cage of holy fire, but how do we get him here?" Dean asked

"There's almost an open phone line between a vessel and his angel" Cas explained

Cas said something in a language I didn't understand then finished off with "I'm here Raphael come and get me you little bastard"

"How long does this usually take?" I asked

"Just be ready" Cas told me as he dropped a match into the oil.

After a whole day of waiting we had to give up and go back to the house.

"Wait" Cas warned Dean and held onto my arm to stop me from stepping inside

The guy from the hospital was stood in the middle of the room

"Raphael" Cas said.

"I thought you were supposed to be impressive" Dean said "all you do is black out the room"

"And the Eastern seaboard" Raphael responded as lightning flashed outside "It's a credit to my unending mercy that I don't smite you here and now"

"Maybe you're afraid God will bring Cas back to life and smite you and your candy ass skirt. By the way hi I'm Dean"

"I know where you are and now thanks to him I know where you are"

"You can't hurt him" I spoke up "he's too important"

"But I will take him to Michael, mm Interesting" he looked at me "mostly human but a touch of something else. Did you used to be an angel? He asked "you're a fallen" he realised

Dean looked at me in confusion "I'll explain later, if we're still alive" I told him

"You won't be" Raphael promised "Have you told her the punishment for cutting out here grace?" he asked Cas

He hadn't but I knew it couldn't be good "I am going to be rewarded twice over when I return to Michael with his vessel and a fallen". Raphael continued.

"There's just one thing you forgot but it's worth mentioning" Dean said

"What?" Raphael asked

"We knew you were coming you stupid son of a bitch"

I dropped my lighter into the circle of oil surrounding Raphael and watched as it went up in flames.

Then I stood by Castiels side and slipped my hand into his to show that I was with him on his insane mission.

"Don't look at me" Dean said "It was his idea" he nodded towards Cas

"Where is he?" Cas asked

"God? Didn't you hear? He's dead Castiel, dead"

"He's lying" I told Cas

"Am I ? do you remember the 20th century ? Think the 21st is going any better?" He asked Cas."Do you think God would have let any of this happen if he were alive?"

"Yeah well who invented the Chinese basket trick?" Dean asked

"what?" I mouthed

"Careful, that's my father you're talking about boy"

"Yeah who would be so proud to know that his son started the frigging apocalypse" Dean argued

"Who ran off and disappeared, who left no instructions and a world to rot"

"So your daddy ran away and disappeared, he didn't happen to work for the post office did he?" Dean asked

I tried not to laugh.

"Answer this then smart ass" I said "If God is dead how did he bring Cas back to life?"

"Is that what you think little girl?" Raphael grinned at me "That God's the one who bought your boyfriend back to life? Hove you ever considered it was Lucifer?"

"That makes no sense at all" I told him

"He needs all the rebellious angels he can get"

"Lets go" Cas began to lead me away

"Castiel I'm warning you, do not leave me here. I will find you"

"Maybe someday but today you're my little bitch"

Cas and I walked out I heard Dean behind us saying "Yeah what he said"

"We need to talk" Dean said when we were outside "Fallen?"

"I was going to tell you eventually I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to treat me any different"

"She's like Anna was" Cas told him "She cut out her grace and fell to earth

"But I don't remember any of it" I told Dean

"Does that mean they'll be coming for her?"

"Who?" I asked

"Angels and demons the angels will want to kill you and the demons will just want to torture you"

"Oh is that all?" I replied sarcastically

"I won't let that happen" Cas told me as he slipped an amulet over my head

"What's that?" I asked

"it'll keep you hidden from angels and demons

"What?" Dean asked "she gets an amulet and me and Sam get a painful carving in our ribs"

"This is the only one of it's kind I managed to find it when I was in Jerusalem" he said

"Thank you" I told him

"You're welcome"

"So anything else I should know?" Dean asked me

"No" said

"Good, no more secrets OK?"

"No more secrets" I promised

"I lay awake in my motel room "Hey Cas" I said as I saw him standing by the side of my bed. I didn't mind that he hadn't knocked I was just glad he was here"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving for a few days"

"That's OK I'm sure it was important" I sat up and motioned to him to sit down next to me

"Do you think it's insane that I want to find God, I know Dean thinks it's insane"

"It is a little" I admitted "but only because all this is new to me. I'm used to monsters and demons but until recently God and Angels were just stories I didn't know you guys were real"

"Thank you for your honesty"

"It doesn't matter you know? If I think its insane or not?"

"It matters to me what you think?"

"I'm glad" I told him as I snuggled up to him "but what I mean is it's important to you so that makes it important to me too because you're important to me"

He kissed the top of my head then he gently stroked my hair until I fell asleep and this time when I woke up the next morning he was still there.


	9. Chapter 9

After a week of what felt like non stop hunting Dean and I were exhausted and booked into a motel to get some rest.

That's when Cas called me and asked where we were. Just as I told him Dean snatched the cell phone from my hand "Hey don't even think about coming over here, Cas we're Human" he looked at me "mostly and we need 4 hours sleep every now and again"

He turned my phone off "Sorry about that" he told me as he handed it back to me

"Don't be I'm exhausted too"

"Then why don't you tell him that?"

"I can't" I shrugged "It's Cas"

Dean rolled his eyes "You know I think I liked you better when you were all cynical"

"You don't mean that" I told him

"Part of me does" he said "they really tired part"

"Goodnight Dean" I told him as I walked towards the adjoining room

"Goodnight Sarah"

I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow but when I woke it was still dark

"Cas" I whispered to the figure by my bed

"Ssh" he told me

"What is it?"

"Zachariah, he's taken Dean into the future. I've come to get you out of here before Zachariah comes back. If he gets his hands on your he'll kill you"

"Can I at least get dressed"

"No need" he waved his hand my pyjamas were replaced with a selection of my clothes, white jeans and a red t shirt and my black ankle boots.

"What?" he asked as he saw the look on my face

"Cas you might be the most amazing guy I've ever met but you have no fashion sense whatsoever"

Cas took me to a deserted road side "What now?" I asked

"We wait here, when Zachariah brings Dean back to this time time I'll bring Dean here"

"Will Dean be OK?" I asked

"As long as I time it right, you're freezing" he noticed me shivering

"Yeah I guess you forgot my coat"

"I'm sorry"

"Well l You also probably saved my life so thank you"

He wrapped his arms around me and I began to feel a little warmer. I wasn't sure how long we stood like that for but eventually he nudged me slightly.

Dean appeared in front of us "Nice timing Cas"

"We had an appointment"

"Don't ever change" Dean turned to me "you on the other hand need to change, what the hell are you wearing?"

"Don't start" I glared at him but secretly I was pleased that all three of us were safe for now.

"Dean took out his phone and called Sam. I was pleased about that too. I'd been trying not to say anything but it didn't feel right him and Dean been apart especially with everything going on.

Cas kissed me goodbye and left to take care of a few things.

I waited for Sam with Dean. He filled me in a few things as we waited

"So you're both vessels huh?"

"Well we're not going to say yes" he told me "neither of us, you know where they can stick it"

"You know a big part of the reason I stayed with you after Colorado was because Sam was gone and I thought you might some help"

"I know but what was the rest of reason?"

"I was scared to be on my own, but now I'm thinking maybe I should take off all the same"

"I could still use some help" he told me "and I've gotten used having you around, seriously stay" he told me

I thought for a minute "I'll stay on one condition"

"OK" he said cautiously

"Tell me what it was like in the future, was I there?"

"mmm" he looked down at the floor awkwardly

"No secrets remember?"

"There's no easy way of saying it, you were dead"

"Oh"

we sat in silence for a while

"I thought you might have asked how you died, if it were me I would have"he told me

"You know what? screw it" I told him "If you and Sam can fight your destinies then maybe I can fight mine too. I'll stay but I don't plan on dying any time soon"

"Knowing you , you'd only come back and haunt me anyway" Dean joked

""Damn straight" I told him "Look I'm going to head back to the motel and let you and Sam have your reunion but I'll see you later OK?"

As I walked across town I became aware that I was been followed and began to wish I'd stayed with Dean. I sped up and hoped I could make it to the motel and the next thing I knew I was there in my room. I leant against the wall to stop myself from falling.

"Whoa" I said as it felt like the room was spinning. Cas had told me this might happen but I hadn't really thought it would happen so soon and I managed to get my my bed to lie down, After that I must have passed out.


	10. Chapter 10

"Maybe we should get her to a hospital" I heard someone saying.

"No Sammy I say we call Cas"

I opened my eyes

"Sarah" Dean looked down at me and it made me nervous how concerned he looked

"What are you guys doing in my room?"

"You weren't answering so I picked the lock" Dean told me

"Hey Sarah" Sam stood behind him

"Hey" I tried to smile but even that felt too draining "nice to have you back" I told him

"Thanks"

"You shouldn't move" Dean said as I struggled to get up but fell back down onto the bed again.

"What happened?" I asked

"That's what we want to know" Dean asked

"Sarah, what's the last thing you remember?" Sam asked me

"I was walking back to the motel and someone was following me"

"Who? Or what?" Dean asked

"I don't know, I was scared" I admitted "and then I was here and everything was spinning and my head hurt"

"Cas said she might be able to use a bit of angel mojo sometimes" Dean told Sam

"But it doesn't have this effect on Cas" Sam argued

"Well I don't know" Dean said "maybe it's different for her"

"Guys I'm still here" I reminded them

"Yeah Sorry" Dean said "I'm going to call Cas because me and Sam, we've got nothing"

He left the room with his cellphone

"I am glad you're back" I told Sam "Dean missed you although he'll never admit it"

"Thanks" he said "So...you and Cas huh?"

"Yeah me and Cas"

"Sorry I just can't imagine it"

I nodded "all I know is I'm a better person when I'm with him"

"You weren't that bad before"

"I didn't feel like I was that good either but I feel like I can be now"

"Look at me" he told me "I'm a demon blood junkie who started the apocalypse, So let me know if you can beat that and we'll talk about you not been so good"

"Sam you didn't mean..." I began but Dean and Cas entered the room and I stopped mid sentence

"Sarah are you OK?" Cas came over and sat on the bed next to me

I didn't know which was worse, the fact that I didn't understand what was wrong with me or how concerned everyone was, it was starting to scare me.

"I'm fine" I lied

"I've been looking into your life"

"Erm ok Cas" I tried to joke "you know in the normal world that's called stalking"

"I found at least 15 occurrences of you displaying angelic powers that humans shouldn't have access to"

"But you said I might do that" I argued "because I'm a fallen right?"

"I meant two maybe three times in a lifetime, maybe a little more for you because hunting puts you in harms way a lot of the time but even so that's a lot, not to mention there's another 10 possible occurrences but I couldn't substantiate those"

"What does that mean in plain English Cas?" Dean interrupted

"I'm sorry he told me

"What?"

"It means that as erratic as your powers may be you're displaying them a lot more than you should be and it's becoming more regular but humans were never meant to have to that kind of power. Your body can't handle it"

"Are you saying this could kill me?" I asked

"I'm afraid so" Cas told me as he took hold of my hand.

I''d never thought much about dying which might sound strange considering what I do but I've always just thought of it as something inevitable and not dwelled on it for too long. I thought maybe I'd be scared and I admit I was but the first thing that popped into my head was that Cas looked so sad as though if puppy had just died or something. If ever I needed any confirmation that he cared about me, this was it.. So that's when I decided I was going to fight this every step of the way for his sake.

"Hey" I began "Don't look so sad "I have no intention of dying any time soon, we'll find a way round this. I mean I've seen all kinds of things that should have been impossible and it's taught be that there's no such thing as impossible"

He at least looked half convinced so I guessed that was a start

"Right"Dean nodded "we'll find something"

Cas insisted I rested for a few days but I managed to convince Dean and Sam to go on a hunt without me after Cas promised he would stay with me.

He only left my side to angel shimmy his way to a café I'd visited while on holiday in the UK where the food had been amazing and he was back within 20 minutes with his arms full of food

"When I said I was hungry I didn't mean that.." I began

"I know you said you liked that café" Cas told me "but I didn't know what you wanted so I bought three different types of burger, some fries, a selection of fried meats and something called toad in the hole but the lady assured me there was no real toad involved"

I smiled as he lay the food down on the table besides my bed

"Thank you" I told him as I realised I was in serious danger of falling in love with him "You're so good to me"

"I just want you OK" he told me

"Hey" I'm better than OK" I said as I kissed him gently on the lips "I've got all my favourite foods and you're here. It couldn't be better"


	11. Chapter 11

The case Sam and Dean were working on took a little longer than they had thought it would so after a few days I was feeling better and wanted to get out of the motel room.

"I'm fine really" I told Cas for what like the 100th time "Can we just get out of here for the day before I go insane?"

"Where do you want to go?" Cas considered my request

"Let's go see a movie" I suggested

"You want to see a movie?" he looked at me as tho I was I was already insane

"Which would you prefer I hunt down a nest of vampires?" I pointed to a news article I'd been reading which pointed towards vampires been the culprits "or you take me to the movies and we spend one day been a normal couple? Besides I called Bobby about the vampires nest so that he could get someone on it like you asked so the least you can do is come to the movies with me"

"OK" he relented "but if you start to feel unwell we're coming back here straight away"

"Thank you" I said grabbing my coat and leading him outside

I had the greatest day ever. All we did was watch a movie and go for dinner, things most people just take for granted but I wasn't most people and I was a little sad as we went back to the motel room because it meant the day had to end.

"Hey" Cas noticed as the smile I'd been wearing for most of the day began to fade "what's wrong?"

"I had a a great time today?"

"I don't understand?" he looked at me confused "why is that a bad thing?"

"It's not, its a really good thing. I guess I just didn't realise how much I wanted to be the type of person who gets to walk down the street holding hands with her boyfriend, or watch a movie together and go for a romantic dinner afterwards"

"But we did all those things" he told me

"I know and now it makes it so much harder to go back to fighting demons and stopping the apocalypse and right now I just wish we could be normal and not have to deal with any of that"

"It's OK" he told me as he wrapped his arms around me "and the days not over for another hour. If we were 'normal' as you say what would we do now?"

I looked up at him and began to kiss him. I knew what I wanted to do. To be honest in my past I'd never exactly behaved like a nun and I' was far from innocent but things with Cas were different and I found myself wondering if it was OK for angels to do that kind of thing. But I began to take off his clothes he didn't try to stop me but he did look a little surprised.

"Is this what normal people would do?" he asked me

"some of them might, but it's OK if you don't want to" I worried that I could be corrupting him or something.

"I do" he said "with you I mean"

I began alternating between removing his clothes and mine and led him to the bed.

He pulled away slightly as I began to kiss him again

"It's just I haven't.." he began

"It's OK, I know"

"I'm afraid I might hurt you, I'm stronger than you are"

"I trust you" I whispered into his ear and he let me continue.

He must have asked asked at least 10 times if I was OK which would usually have annoyed me but with him I just thought it was sweet.

When we were finished, we lay there for a while holding each other until he broke the silence "that was something" he looked thoughtfully at me

"Something good or something bad?" I asked

"good" he told me

I breathed a sigh of relief

"I love you" he told me and none of the things I had been worried about before seemed to matter any more.

"I love you too"


	12. Chapter 12

Sam and Dean met up with me after they had finished the job they had been working

I was talking to Sam while Dean was out getting food and Cas was off gathering information, I hadn't asked what.

"So Dean got beaten up by Paris Hilton" I laughed "well I'm almost sorry I missed that"

Sam laughed along with me "Seriously tho I'm glad to be back"

"So you and Dean have worked things out?" I asked hopefully

"More or less" he told me "I mean it'll take time but I think we're getting there"

"That's good" I told him.. Family is important"

"Well you know just because we're not blood doesn't mean Dean and I don't think of you as family, Bobby does too"

"Thanks that means a lot to me Sam" I told him"

Dean came back with the food

"So what are you guys working on?" I asked while we ate "Maybe I can help"

"There's a kid and he's somehow makes people's believes come true, like itching powder can make you scratch your brains out and those electric buzzers can electrocute you"

I looked over at the kitchen table "hence the roast pig right? So what now, go visit the kid?"

"We already did that" Sam told me "but we don't think he even realises he's doing it"

"The boy is adopted" Dean told me "but we did find his real mum and it turns out she was possessed the whole time she pregnant"

"Seriously?" I asked

"Seriously" he told me

"That can't be good" I stated.

Cas appeared."It's lucky you found the boy" he said

"Oh yeah real lucky, what do we do with him?" Dean asked

"Kill him"

"Cas.." Dean started to protest

"This child is half demon and half human but he's far more powerful than either. Other cultures call him Cambian or Katako. You know him as the Antichrist" Cas sat down and there was a sound like a whoopee cushion

"That wasn't me" Cas said

"Dean? Really?" I asked

"What?" he asked innocently "who put that there/"

"I don't get it, Jesse is the devils son?" Sam asked

"No the bible is wrong about that. The Antichrist is just demon spawn but he's destined to be one of the greatest weapons the devil has in the war against heaven"

Dean turned to me surprised "How do you know all this?"

"You guys left me in that motel room for a week, I read a lot, Cas bought me books" I said proudly

"You said you didn't want her hunting" Cas said defensively "she said she still wanted to be useful so I thought she could read up on a few things"

"Oh" I said sarcastically "I love it when you guys talk about me like I'm not here"

"but you lost him right? Dean went back on subject "how did that happen?"

"Oh I know this" I spoke up again just as Cas opened his mouth to answer. "The Antichrist has a power that hides him from angels and demons until he's older" I looked at Cas "what? I'm just trying to be useful"

"Sarah you are scary" Dean told me

"Anyway" Cas interrupted "my point is this child is going to grow powerful enough to destroy the host of heaven and we can't allow that to happen"

"Wait we're the good guys we don't just kill children" Sam said

Cas stood up "A year ago you would have done whatever it took to win this war"

"Things change" Sam replied.

"We're not going to kill him" Dean reassured Sam "but I know we can't leave him here either"

"Yeah" I backed Dean up "we could take him to Bobby's"

"You mean kidnap him" Cas asked

"Beats killing him"

"What's happening in this town is what happens when this thing is happy imagine what it will do when it's angry" Cas told me.

"We could tell him the truth" Sam suggested "if he's destined to go dark side then fine but if we lay it all out for him he might make the right choice"

"You didn't and I can't take that chance" Cas was about to disappear again I could tell but I needed to talk to him.

I remember thinking there was no way I was going to let him leave b\before I could have least try to reason with him and after that I wasn't in the motel room any more.

My head hurt as everything was spinning again but this time Cas was stood in front of me and he caught me before I fell.

"Why did you do that?" he asked "You know it's dangerous for you"

"I wanted to talk to you" I began struggling to stay conscious "We can't kill a child Cas"

"I know you can't Sarah" he told me gently "that's why I'm going to be the one to do it, right after I get you back to the motel"

The next thing I knew I was lying on the bed in the motel room and Cas was gone.

Sam and Dean came running when they heard my groans

"What the hell happened?" Dean demanded

"I tried to follow Cas" I was finding it almost impossible to stay awake now" "it was stupid and dangerous to tap into my power I know but I wanted to make him see reason"

"And?" Sam asked

"He still gone to kill the kid" I said "you have to get there first" I told them

"But.." Dean looked at me with concern

"I'll be fine, I just...need... to...rest" and then I was out.


	13. Chapter 13

After that Sam, Dean and Cas had all ganged up on me to make me stay in whatever Motel we happened to be staying in at the time or least it felt like they were ganging up on me anyway.

I was at least happy to hear that Cas hadn't been able to kill the child either. He'd had a chance but he'd hesitated for just a second too long.

Once I started to feel a little better I insisted on reading more and at least taking part in some research to help. Cas reluctantly agreed after I told him it was the only way I was going to stay in the motel.

I hated just watching or hearing about everything that was going on around me and not been able to do anything to actively help. It only made me feel worse when Dean gambled 25 years of his life away and I wanted to perform the spell that would kill the witch he had gambled them away so so Dean could get his years back. Dean had told there was no chance he was going to let go hunting let alone take part in something that involved using power of any kind because it was too dangerous.

During a rare morning when I wasn't been "guarded" by either Cas, Dean, Sam or Bobby I started thinking about how this time had been worse than the last time I'd tapped into my power. I realised that next time there was a good chance I might not survive at all. But what choice did I have? Hunting was my life and I didn't know how to do anything else .I may have complained about the lack of normality in my life but how could I sit by and let the world go to hell if there was the tiniest chance I could have done something to help save it. It broke my heart to think about leaving Cas and everyone else I cared anything about but I couldn't live like this hiding in a motel room for the rest of my life while the people I loved put themselves in danger everyday.

As I realised that there was only one way this could end for me I reached for the pen and notepad beside my bed and began to write.

Cas please don't be mad at me.

I know now how this has to end for me and if you're reading this I hope that you can forgive me and that my death counted for something. I would give anything to stay here with you but it would be selfish of me to put the lives of so many people before my own desires.

If you want to do one last thing for me, then all I ask is that you carry on fighting to the end and don't let my death be meaningless

Thank you for everything you ever did for me.

I love you

Sarah

I cried as I folded the note and sealed it in an envelope then walked over to the coat stand and placed it in my inside coat pocket.

It was a few hours later when Cas found me curled up asleep on the floor after I'd cried myself to sleep.

I woke as he carried me over to the bed

"Hey" I managed a small smile

"Hey" he tucked me into bed and gently stroked my hair "are you OK?"

"Yes" I lied "How's Dean?"

"He back to normal" Cas told me

"That's good" I said relived "I feel so useless in here Cas"

"I know but we're only trying to keep you safe"

"You know as much as I love you, there will come a time when you have to let me go" I told him

"That's what I'm afraid of" He looked at me sadly

"I can't live like this, you guys are at risk everyday and I'm supposed to just stay in the motel?"

"Sarah the next time you might..." he couldn't bring himself to finish

"I know" I wrapped my arms around him "and I'll stay behind and read and do research for now" I told him "but when the big fight with Lucifer goes down I have to be there"

He pulled away "I don't want to lose you. You're too important to me" he said looking me in the eye which only made me feel worse

"I know but we can't put ourselves first, not ahead of the lives of everyone else, we just can't Cas" I began to cry again.


	14. Chapter 14

So I kept my word to Cas that I'd stay behind for now.

I missed Sam and Deans little adventure into TV Hell . They were gone for days before I convinced Cas I'd be OK alone while he went looking for them . I figured it had to be serious since they hadn't even called me or come back to the motel.

It turned out OK in the end but it was so frustrating not been able to help.

I also missed out the on supernatural convention. A prophet named Chuck had been writing books about San and Dean long before he had even known they really existed and now his number one fan had organised a convention with LARP'ing involved. I wsih I'd been there to see that.

Something useful had come out of the convention tho, Chucks fangirl had told Sam that in the books the Colt was in in the possession of a demon named Crowley. So that meant that once Sam and Dean had gotten it back from him we were ready to go after Lucifer.

Sure everyone kicked up a fuss at first, saying I should stay behind but I wasn't backing down from this one.

The night before we went after Lucifer Me, Cas, Dean, Sam, Ellen and Jo all gathered at Bobbies.

I was sat drinking beer with Sam with Dean.

"It's gotta be a trap right?" Sam asked

"Sam Winchester having trust issues with a demon"

"Which just shows how much you've changed for the better right?" I said

"Thank you Sarah" Sam looked pointedly at Dean as he tapped his beer bottle against mine

"You know" Dean began "trap or no trap if we've got a snowballs chance we gotta take it right?"

"Yeah I suppose" Sam agreed

"I don't think it is a trap" I said opening the folder in front of me and showing them the news paper clippings I'd compiled "All the omens are there, that's where the devil is"

"You put all this together?" Sam asked

"I told you, I like to keep busy" I shrugged.

"But if we think about it you can't come with" Dean told Sam

"Dean"

"Look I go get Satan and screw the pooch. Okay, yeah we've lost a game piece. That we can take but if you're there then we're handing the devils vessel right over to him. That's not smart"

"Since when have ever done anything smart?"

"Good luck" I told Sam as I stood knowing he'd probably convince Dean to let him come just like I had.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked

I point toward the other side of the room where Jo and Ellen who were giving Cas a line of shots to see how long it took him to get drunk "to rescue my angel"

Later on Bobby decided he wanted take a group photo.

"Usual suspects in the corner" he ordered

"Oh come on Bobby nobody wants their picture taken" Ellen said

"Hear hear" Sam agreed.

"Shut up you're drinking my beer" Bobbie said "anyway I'm going to need something to remember your asses by"

"Always good to have an optimist around" Ellen joked as we all stood together

Bobby's right, tomorrow we hunt the devil" Cas said "this is our last night on earth.

"You know what?" I whispered to Cas after we'd had our picture taken "if this is our last night on earth I know how I want to spend" then I led him away to some place more private.


	15. Chapter 15

We left early the next morning.

The town was empty which confirmed that Lucifer was probably there and we couldn't get a cellphone signal.

I'd gone with Sam and Dean while Cas had gone with Ellen and Jo.

When we met up again Cas wasn't with them.

"Have you seen Cas?" Ellen asked.

"Wasn't he with you?" I began to worry

"Nope he went after the reapers"

"Reapers? He saw Reapers" Dean questioned

"Where?" asked Sam

"Well kind of everywhere" Jo told us.

"Well this is great we've only been in town foir twenty minutes and we've already lost the angel up our sleeve" Dean complained.

"You think Lucifer got him?" Sam suggested

"Sam! not helping!" I snapped "sorry I'm just worried" I told him

"It's OK" he told me

"But we're here right? So the plan's still the same?" I tried to push my concerns to the back of my mind.

"There you are" A womans voice came from behind us

We turned round to face a dark haired female demon.

"Meg" Sam said

"You guys shouldn't have come here alone" she said.

"Well I could say the same thing for you" Dean retorted as he pointed the colt at her.

"Didn't come here alone Deano"

We heard a growl not too far away.

"Hellhounds" fear washed over Deans face.

"Yeah Dean you're favourite" she grinned.

"Come with me, my father wants to see you"

"I think we'll pass, thanks" Sam answered.

"You can make this easy or you can make it really really hard" Meg warned.

"When have you known us to make anything easy?" Dean fired off a shot at where one of the hellhounds seemed to be.

We all ran, I could hear the hellhounds chasing after us getting closer..

I heard Dean fall and before I could stop her Jo ran back at fired her gun in the direction of where the Hellhound was dragging him. But another hellhound charged at Jo knocking her over and then began tearing away.

Sam and I fired off shots until we were sure it was dead. Dean got Jo to her feet and we all ran for the hardware store nearby.

Sam chained the door and I began lining the door and windows with salt. While everyone else took care of Jo.

We managed to get thru to Bobby on the radio who told us that the reapers must have been there because they were waiting for the horseman death and he told us where abouts in town Lucifer was likely to be at midnight when he would bring the horseman back into the world.

"So now we know where the devil's gonna be, we know when and we have the colt" Dean announced

"Yeah we just have to get past eight or so hellhounds and get to the farm by midnight" Sam replied.

"Er...Guys we need to get Jo out of here first" I told them.

"Won't be easy" Sam stated.

"Stretcher?" Dean asked

"Let's see what we've got" Sam looked around.

"Stop" I heard Jo say

The three of us walked over to her.

"Can we just be realistic about this please? I can't move my legs I can't be moved. My guts are being held in my an ace bandage. We gotta get our priorities straight here" she told us "number one I'm not going anywhere"

"Joanna Beth you stop talking like that" Ellen told her.

"Mum I can't fight, I can't walk but I can do something. We got propane, wiring, rock salt, Iron nails, everything we need"

"For what?" I asked even rho I already knew the answer.

"To build a bomb Sarah"

"No Jo no" Dean shook his head.

"You got another plan, you got any other plan? Those are hell hound out there Dean. They've got all of our scents. Those bitches will never stop coming after you"

Nobody answered so Jo continued "You let the dogs in, you hit the roof. Make a break for the building next over and 'll stay here with my finger on the buttons. Rip those mutts a new one or at least buy you few minutes"

We all took some convincing but with no better plan we all got to work on the bomb.

I watched as Dean said his goodbyes to Jo and my heart ached for him. That's when I felt felt power rising up in me and I knew what I had to do.

I walked over to them, held my hands above Jo and began to release the power I could feel flowing thru me

"What are you doing?" Sam ran over to me and Dean watched in shock as small sparks began to fizzle thru me as rho I was a robot short circuiting.

Once Jo was fully healed I slumped to the flour, coughing up blood and I knew this was the one I wasn't going to recover from.

"Nice plan Jo" I coughed out a little more of my insides "So what do you say we stick to the plan but I have my finger on the button?" I asked Sam and Dean

"Do we have a choice?" Dean asked sadly

"Did I ever tell you that I love you guys as tho you were my own brothers?" I asked Sam and Dean while I still had the chance to say it

"Well you're a god damned pain in the ass so I guess that makes you one of us" Dean told me as a tear fell down his cheek

I reached for the note in my coat pocket "Give this to Cas for me?"

Sam reached down and took it "Of course" he said

"And Sam, tell him I wasn't scared OK?"

"Will do"

"Well what are you guys waiting for? The end of the world? Go!"

"Thank you" Jo mouthed as she left with the others.

I waited a minute then I used my power one last time to fling the door open and the salt blew away.

I forced myself to hold on until the hell hounds were almost on top on me and then I let the bomb explode. And I was plunged into darkness.


	16. Chapter 16

I don't know how long it was before the darkness faded and I was surround by the brightest light I'd ever seen.

I struggled to get my feet and I helped up to someone I didn't know

He told me his name was Joshua, we were in heaven and that God had bought me back and restored my grace. I wanted to go back to tell everyone I was OK. He told me God had given him instructions to relay to me. I was prohibited from returning to earth or even watching for the immediate future.

It didn't sound great at first but heaven actually turned out to be OK. Anything I wanted usually just appeared right in front of me and I got to see my mum again. She seemed so happy that I no longer felt any guilt over her death.

I had only been here a short while when I got to see Dean and Sam again. They weren't here for long but I got to tell them that I was OK and it made it easier for all of us. Dean told me Jo had given up hunting and gone to college and Ellen was just grateful that her daughter was ok. So I told them to say hi from me when they got back and to tell Cas and Bobby I was fine.

Cas came back eventually too. He had died again but God had bought him back too...again!

Cas wasn't restricted to heaven like I was but I was OK with that to a point. If something was really important on earth he told me so at least I knew. He told me Sam had said yes to Lucifer and gained control of his body long enough to jump into hell taking Lucifer with him.

I searched all of heaven for Sam and he wasn't here and I didn't believe he deserved to be in hell so I knew he had to be somewhere on earth. I just hoped he was OK I knew I'd see him again someday and everyone else I cared about too but hoped it wouldn't be too soon.


End file.
